Stories from the Stringam Family Ranches of Southern Alberta

From the 50s and 60s to today . . .



Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Curtain Wars

Okay. Turns out this IS rocket science.
Have you ever done anything dumb?
I mean really, really dumb?
I'm not saying that I have but . . .
Okay, I'm saying that I have.
But, in my defense, our family always had a shower cubicle.
With a door.
Maybe I should explain . . .
It was my first time living away from home.
I was dizzy with joy. And heavy with responsibility.
So many things that I suddenly needed to know.
And hadn't paid attention to, when my parents had tried to teach.
Sigh.
The learning curve wasn't just steep. It was nearly vertical.
I muddled through.
With prayer, many phone calls home. 
And a smart roommate.
Our apartment had indoor plumbing. I just thought I'd mention it.
And a bathtub with a shower nozzle.
I stared at it.
Huh. How could one use that and not spray water everywhere?
You would have to make sure that the nozzle was pointed directly at the wall and be very careful.
Weird.
Why didn't they just put in a cubicle, like the Stringams?
And there was something else I had never seen before.
Above the tub and reaching from wall to wall, was a long rod.
I stared at it, mystified.
What on earth could that be for?
I went to my roommate.
“Guess showering is out of the question.”
“Why,” she asked.
“How do you keep the water off the floor?”
She laughed. “Diane, please tell me you've used a shower curtain before.”
“A what?”
Okay, I should clarify here that I had seen shower curtains before.
It's just that I had always designated them decorative, rather than useful.
“I have one. I'll get it.”
My roommate was not only smart, having lived on her own before, but she was also handy.
In no time, we had a brand new plastic curtain strung from the rod over the tub.
Cool.
But did my education stop there?
Sadly, no.
I prepared for my first shower in my new apartment.
As an adult.
I added that last, because, based on what happened next, you might not have realized it.
Moving on . . .
I had a nice shower and pushed back the curtain.
Oh, man! Now there was water all over the floor!
I was going to have to lay down towels to catch the water that ran down the curtain and onto the floor.
What a pain.
I mopped up the water and dressed.
“Shower curtains are dumb!” I said as I passed my roommate, headed for my room.
“Why?”
“They let water get all over the floor!”
“Ummm . . . Diane, you're supposed to put the curtain inside the tub.”
I stopped and looked at her.
“Really?”
I'm sure she spent the next few moments regretting her decision to invite me to stay with her.
She hid it well.
“Yes,” she said patiently. “If you put the curtain inside the tub, the water runs down the curtain and down the drain.”
“Huh.”
My kids call it the two percent rule. You have to be two percent smarter than whatever it is you're using.
I failed.
I'd like to say that was the last time I did something silly.
I'd be lying.
It wasn't the curtain that was dumb.

13 comments:

  1. Haha! I'm betting you aren't alone in the category of folks who neglected to put the curtain inside the tub. The good news is, even without your roomie to help, I'm betting you would only have made that mistake one time. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right! I only made it once. Of course there were lots of other mistakes to make in lieu . . .

      Delete
  2. Hey...it happens....even when you DO know what a shower curtain is for.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Watching Psycho should have clued me in.

      Delete
  3. I suspect that the day I do my last silly thing will also be my last day.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's hilarious! I'm glad to hear you survived your first shower curtain incident - just lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have the scars. But I did survive! ;)

      Delete
  5. I can't believe it took you so long before you encountered a shower curtain - they were all we had from childhood through til about a decade or so ago when we finally had an enclosed glass shower cubicle. It's funny reading about things you take for granted that others are unaware of :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now point me to a farrier's hammer or cattle squeeze and I'm totally on it! A shower curtain . . . not so much.

      Delete
  6. There are always things we don't learn growing up that others did. But what about the things THEY didn't learn? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right! Roommate. What didn't you know that I could have taught you? Sadly . . . very little! ;)

      Delete
    2. Unless she grew up on a farm, you probably have a whole branch of knowledge she never learned :)

      Delete

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